Couples Therapy in Scottsdale, AZ
For relationships caught in reactive patterns
Where Couples Get Stuck
Many couples come to therapy feeling worn down by the same arguments or moments of disconnection that never seem to fully resolve. One partner may feel unheard while the other feels criticized. Attempts to talk things through often lead to escalation, withdrawal, or long stretches of silence. Both can end up feeling misunderstood, alone, or unsure how to reach one another.
Over time, these interactions can take on a life of their own. What begins as an attempt to protect the relationship, get through to a partner, or protect oneself can become part of what makes it harder to feel close.
Sometimes couples come because something more specific has happened. Emotional or sexual intimacy may feel strained. Trust may have been disrupted by secrecy, infidelity, or another painful experience. Or the relationship may simply no longer feel as secure as it once did.
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When connection with someone we depend on feels uncertain, even ordinary moments can carry more emotional weight. A partner’s distance may feel like rejection. A question may land as criticism. An attempt to get closer may feel like pressure or a loss of space.
Each partner responds in ways that make sense from inside their own experience. One may reach harder, question, criticize, or protest. The other may defend, shut down, or pull away. These responses often protect something important, but they can also make it harder for each person to see what the other is needing or trying to communicate.
Over time, each partner’s response can become the very thing that confirms the other’s fear. The more one reaches, the more the other withdraws. The more one withdraws, the more urgently the other reaches. The cycle begins to take over, leaving both people feeling alone in a relationship that matters deeply to them.
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I am trained in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples, an attachment-based therapy approach. We pay close attention to what happens between you in the moments that matter, including the emotions that arise, what the moment comes to mean, and how each of you responds.
As we slow these interactions down, what happens beneath the more familiar reactions can become easier to reach and express. Partners can begin to understand one another differently and become more able to reach for what they need, respond to what their partner is asking for, and take in the care that is being offered.
The goal is not simply to communicate better. It is to create a relationship in which both partners can feel more accessible, responsive, and engaged with one another.
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As couples begin to understand what happens between them, the moments that once moved quickly into conflict or distance can begin to unfold differently. There can be more room to say what is happening before it becomes an argument, to stay present when a partner reaches, and to respond to the need underneath a reaction rather than only reacting to how it is expressed.
Over time, couples can develop a stronger sense that they can reach for one another and have an impact. Difficult moments still happen, but they no longer have to carry the same meaning or lead to the same ending.
This work is for couples who
Feel stuck in related patterns of conflict, miscommunication, and distance
Experience strong emotional reactions that seem to come out of nowhere
Want to understand what’s happening beneath surface disagreements
Feel distance in their emotional or physical intimacy
Are trying to rebuild trust after something painful or destabilizing
Working with me
I am an active, thoughtful presence in the room. Rather than deciding who is right or wrong, I pay close attention to what is happening between you. We slow down the moments that leave you feeling misunderstood, disconnected, or alone and make space to understand each partner’s experience more fully.
Some sessions are reflective. Others are deeply emotional. At times, we explore how earlier relationships and experiences shape what happens between you now. Much of the work also happens in the present, as we slow down what is unfolding between you and create opportunities to reach for and respond to one another differently.
I don’t believe couples therapy is about teaching two people how to argue less. I believe it is about helping each partner become more able to know and express their own experience, understand what happens for the person they love, and respond differently in the moments that matter most. My hope is that therapy helps you build a relationship in which both of you can more reliably reach, respond, and receive one another.
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Figure & Ground Therapy is a self-pay private practice.
Individual / Teen Therapy
$175 per 60-minute sessionCouples Therapy
$175 per 60-minute session
$225 per 90-minute session
First Couples Session is 90 minutes.
Ongoing sessions are typically 60 minutes,
90-minute ongoing sessions are available upon request. -
Figure & Ground Therapy is a self-pay private practice and does not bill insurance directly.
If you have out-of-network benefits, I can provide a monthly superbill you can submit for possible reimbursement.
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You can begin in the way that feels most useful to you. If you have questions or want to get a sense of whether we might be a good fit, you can request a free 15-minute consultation. If you feel ready to begin, you can request your first therapy session directly.
Use the scheduling button below to view current availability and request a time.
GET STARTED
View my current availability and request a time below.
Have a question before scheduling?
Email me at rachel@figureandgroundtherapy.com
